The Big Fat Man With Scissors

 *I wrote this a long time ago (like 3 or 4 years) when my neighbor couldn't figure out what she wanted to be for Halloween. She was holding a pair of those plastic kid scissors and I told her she should be a fat guy with scissors! I wrote this story to go with it that day.*



THE BIG FAT MAN WITH SCISSORS

Once upon a long ago time, there was a fat man named Randy. He was mad because all the gnomes in the forest hated him. He had been teased this way since kindergarten. He was sick and tired of it, so he was thinking about what to do. Now, you have never heard this fairy tale because parents think it is, “not good for your minds”. But it is. Anyways, Randy was 35 years old and had been teased all his life, you know that already. The head teaser-gnome was named Jackson. Randy wanted to do something to him. He could: throw all his bug cards in the outhouse, throw his leaf lunch on his head, or glue his wood-wear (silver-wear) to the table. But, what he really wanted to do was cut off Jackson’s prized beard. All he needed was a pair of scissors.
    “Come again!” Said  the shopkeeper. Randy had just bought a pair of bright green scissors. His plan was to host a party for Jackson, then have a cool hair-style place where Randy cuts your hair. Randy was going to ask Jackson how he wanted his hair cut, then Randy would cut off his beard.     Randy had won.